Genesis 31:28 Daily Devotional & Meaning – Laban Said Jacob Had Done Foolishly
- Benjamin Michael Mcgreevy
- 4 days ago
- 11 min read
Daily Verses Everyday! Day 196
“And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters? thou hast now done foolishly in so doing.”
Laban continues his accusation against Jacob by saying, “And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters? thou hast now done foolishly in so doing.” On the surface, these words sound tender. Laban speaks like a wounded father and grandfather. He says Jacob did not allow him to kiss his daughters and his grandchildren goodbye. He presents himself as a man who only wanted a loving farewell, a final embrace, and a peaceful parting.
But once again, Laban’s words must be weighed against Laban’s life.
He says “my sons and my daughters,” but his actions have not shown faithful love toward them. Rachel and Leah have already testified that their father counted them as strangers. They said he sold them and devoured their money. Laban now speaks as though he deeply cherished them, but when they were under his roof, he treated them as something to use. He profited from their marriages. He gained years of Jacob’s labor through them. He failed to preserve their portion. Now that they are leaving, he speaks of kisses and affection.
This is a sobering reminder that affection expressed too late cannot erase years of selfishness. A kiss goodbye may be beautiful when it comes from a faithful heart, but it becomes hollow when it comes from someone who has used people for years and only becomes emotional when control is lost. Laban wanted the appearance of family love at the end, but he had not practiced the substance of family love along the way.
First John 3:18 says, “My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.” That verse exposes the difference between Laban’s words and his actions. Laban speaks like a loving father, but Rachel and Leah knew his deeds. True love is not proven only in a farewell speech. True love is proven in how a person treats others when he still has power over them. Laban had power for many years, and he used it selfishly.
There is something deeply tragic here. Laban speaks of kissing his children and grandchildren, and in a healthy family that would be natural. A father should be able to bless his daughters. A grandfather should be able to embrace his grandchildren. A family parting should not have to happen in secrecy. There should have been songs, peace, prayer, blessing, and affection. But sin had damaged the relationship so badly that Jacob did not trust Laban with the truth of their departure.
This is what sin does to families. It turns what should be simple into something painful. It turns goodbyes into accusations. It turns affection into suspicion. It turns family language into a tool for guilt. Laban says, “Why did you not let me kiss them?” but he does not ask, “What did I do that made them leave without wanting that farewell?” He sees the goodbye he lost, but he does not see the trust he destroyed.
That is often how pride works. Pride focuses on the final offense while ignoring the long pattern that led to it. Laban looks at Jacob and says, “You have done foolishly.” But he does not look at himself and say, “I have acted foolishly for years.” He calls Jacob’s secrecy foolish, but he does not acknowledge his own deception. He condemns Jacob for leaving without notice, but he does not confess that his own behavior made notice feel unsafe.
Jesus warned about this kind of blindness in Matthew 7, when He spoke of the man who sees the mote in his brother’s eye while ignoring the beam in his own. Laban can see Jacob’s action clearly. He can see that Jacob left secretly. He can see that he did not get a farewell. But he cannot see the beam in his own eye. He cannot see the years of manipulation, greed, and unfairness that made this moment happen.
This does not mean Jacob’s method had no tension. Jacob did leave secretly. He did not give Laban a normal farewell. He did not allow Laban to kiss his daughters and grandchildren goodbye. That is part of the pain of the story. But the Bible has already shown us why Jacob believed he had to leave this way. Laban was not trustworthy. He had changed Jacob’s wages ten times. He had used his daughters. He had shown himself willing to manipulate circumstances for his own gain. Jacob had reason to believe that if he told Laban, Laban would try to stop him.
Proverbs 22:3 says, “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself.” Jacob’s departure was not simply coldness. It was caution in response to a man who had repeatedly acted deceptively. There are people who make honest conversation dangerous, and then they complain when others stop being open with them. Laban had created an atmosphere where Jacob felt he had to flee, and then Laban condemned Jacob for fleeing.
This should make us examine our own lives. Are we the kind of people others can speak honestly to, or do we punish honesty? Are we the kind of people others can leave peacefully, or do we make departure feel like betrayal? Are we the kind of parents, leaders, spouses, friends, or employers who can bless someone when God calls them forward, or do we only speak of love when our control is threatened?
Laban’s accusation should not only make us sympathize with Jacob. It should warn us not to become like Laban.
He says Jacob did foolishly. But what is true foolishness before God? Is it foolish to obey the command of the Lord and leave a place of manipulation? Or is it foolish to spend years using people until they no longer trust your affection? Is it foolish to protect your household from a controlling man? Or is it foolish to ignore God’s warning and still accuse the one God is leading?
Proverbs 14:16 says, “A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident.” Laban appears confident in his accusation, but his confidence does not make him righteous. He speaks as though he is morally superior, but God has already warned him in the night. That warning matters. Laban’s own mouth is under divine restriction. He is not free to speak as though he is innocent before God.
There is also irony in Laban accusing Jacob of foolishness. Laban had household gods, and Rachel had stolen them. Laban’s house was spiritually compromised. He had idols in his possession, and yet he speaks as though he is the wise judge of Jacob’s conduct. This is another reminder that people can be very quick to condemn others while failing to see the idolatry in their own tents.
The issue of the kiss itself is also meaningful. In Scripture, a kiss can be a sign of love, reconciliation, honor, or farewell. But a kiss can also become false when the heart behind it is wrong. Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss. In Luke 22:48, Jesus said, “Judas, betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss?” The outward sign of affection became the mask of betrayal. That does not mean Laban’s desired kiss was the same as Judas’s betrayal, but it does remind us that outward affection is not always proof of inward righteousness.
A kiss without truth is not enough. A farewell without repentance is not enough. A fatherly speech without fatherly faithfulness is not enough.
Laban wanted the symbol of love, but he had not lived the substance of love. He wanted the right to kiss the daughters he had treated like strangers. He wanted the emotional honor of grandfatherhood after failing in the responsibilities of fatherhood. He wanted the public appearance of affection after years of private selfishness.
This is a warning to every parent and grandparent. Do not wait until the moment of loss to show love. Do not wait until children are leaving to speak tenderly. Do not wait until trust is broken to act wounded. Love them while they are present. Teach them while they are under your care. Bless them while you have the opportunity. Protect their future while it is still in your hands.
Ephesians 6:4 says, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Fathers are called not only to authority, but to faithful nurture. A father’s role is not to control, exploit, or provoke. It is to raise, instruct, correct, protect, and bless before God. Laban failed in this. His daughters did not feel nourished by his fatherhood. They felt used by it.
This verse also gives comfort to those who have had to leave without receiving a peaceful goodbye. Sometimes people will accuse you because you did not give them the ending they wanted. They may say, “You did not let me say goodbye. You did not let me explain. You did not let me bless you. You did not give me a chance.” But sometimes the reason that chance was not given is because they had already been given many chances to act with integrity and did not.
That does not mean believers should be cruel or careless with goodbyes. Romans 12:18 says, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” Christians should desire peace. We should not leave with unnecessary harshness. We should not create pain for pleasure. We should not use secrecy as an excuse for selfishness. But the verse also says, “if it be possible.” Sometimes peace is not possible because the other person has chosen control over truth.
Jacob’s situation was not a normal family disagreement. God had commanded him to leave. Laban had proven himself deceptive. Rachel and Leah had agreed that there was no portion left for them in their father’s house. God Himself had to warn Laban not to harm Jacob with his words. That means Jacob’s fear was not baseless. Laban’s complaint about the missed farewell sounds emotional, but God’s warning shows that Laban was dangerous.
This is why we must be careful not to let emotional language control our judgment. Laban speaks of kisses, sons, daughters, mirth, songs, tabret, and harp. His words create a picture of warmth. But the full story creates a picture of manipulation. The believer must learn to discern between genuine grief and selfish control dressed up as grief.
Proverbs 18:17 says, “He that is first in his own cause seemeth just; but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him.” Laban’s side sounds convincing if heard alone. He seems like a father robbed of a goodbye. But when the story is searched, his accusation loses its innocence. He had not treated his family with the love his words now claim.
There is also a lesson here about how sin creates consequences that feel unfair to the sinner. Laban may truly feel hurt that he did not kiss his daughters and grandchildren goodbye. But that hurt is connected to the consequences of his own actions. He cannot spend years destroying trust and then act shocked when trust is gone. He cannot treat people like possessions and then complain when they leave secretly. He cannot devour what belonged to his daughters and then expect them to feel secure in his house.
Galatians 6:7 says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” Laban is reaping the fruit of what he sowed. He sowed manipulation, and now he reaps distrust. He sowed selfishness, and now he reaps distance. He sowed control, and now he reaps secrecy. He sowed false dealing, and now he reaps the pain of a broken family departure.
This does not mean Rachel and Leah had no pain. Leaving a father’s house secretly is still painful. Even when a parent has failed, there can still be grief. The Bible does not make light of that. But God is showing that Laban’s authority could no longer be the thing that kept Jacob’s household from obeying. The call of God had to be greater than the emotional pull of Laban’s complaint.
Jesus said in Luke 14:26 that if anyone comes to Him and does not hate father, mother, wife, children, brethren, sisters, and even his own life also, he cannot be His disciple. Jesus is not commanding hatred in the sinful sense. He is teaching that loyalty to Him must be greater than every earthly tie. Family matters, but God matters more. Love for family is good, but it must never become a chain that holds someone back from obedience.
Jacob had to obey God even though Laban was family. Rachel and Leah had to follow the call of God even though it meant leaving their father. The children had to be taken on the road even though their grandfather would complain. This does not mean family love is unimportant. It means family love must be submitted to God’s will.
Laban’s words are especially dangerous because they try to make obedience look like cruelty. He says Jacob has done foolishly because Laban did not get the farewell he wanted. But Jacob’s obedience to God was not foolishness. First Corinthians 1 reminds us that what the world calls foolish may be wisdom with God. Human beings may call obedience foolish when it disrupts their expectations, but the true foolishness is resisting the word of the Lord.
The wise path is not always the path that pleases everyone. The wise path is the path that obeys God.
This verse also points us to the need for clean relationships while there is still time. If Laban truly wanted to kiss his daughters and grandchildren in love, he should have lived in a way that made such a farewell safe. This should press on every heart. Do not wait until the last day to become tender. Do not wait until the relationship is breaking to speak kindly. Do not wait until people are leaving to act like you value them. Love faithfully now.
Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Colossians 3:21 says, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” These commands remind us that household relationships must be handled with tenderness and righteousness. Laban’s household had not been shaped by this kind of love. His daughters were discouraged by his selfishness, and Jacob was worn down by his deception.
Still, the verse also gives a small window into the sorrow sin creates. Even a flawed man like Laban feels something at the loss of his family. That is part of the tragedy. Sin does not only harm the people sinned against. It also leaves the sinner standing among broken relationships, speaking of what could have been. There could have been a kiss. There could have been songs. There could have been a blessing. There could have been peace. But Laban’s own ways helped destroy that possibility.
Sin always promises gain, but it brings loss.
Laban gained years of labor, but lost trust. He gained wealth, but lost closeness. He gained control for a season, but lost the chance for a peaceful farewell. That is a terrible trade. Mark 8:36 asks, “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” Laban’s story shows a smaller picture of that same danger. What does it profit a man to gain advantage if he loses the hearts of his own household?
For believers, this verse calls us to truth, humility, and obedience. We must tell the truth about people’s actions, not merely their words. We must humble ourselves before accusing others. We must obey God even when others call our obedience foolish. We must not be controlled by guilt when God has clearly commanded us to move. And we must not become people whose love is mostly spoken after it is too late.
Jacob may have denied Laban a farewell, but Laban had denied Jacob and his daughters years of faithful love. Jacob’s departure was painful, but Laban’s conduct had made it necessary. Laban calls Jacob foolish, but God had already commanded Jacob to leave and had already restrained Laban in the night.
That is what matters most. Laban’s accusation cannot overturn God’s command. Laban’s hurt feelings cannot cancel God’s promise. Laban’s desire for a kiss cannot bind Jacob to a place God told him to leave.
There is a time for farewells, but there is also a time for obedience. There is a time for family affection, but there is also a time to follow God even when family does not understand. There is a time for peace, but there is also a time to leave the place where peace has been made impossible by sin.
Laban said Jacob had done foolishly. But the real foolishness would have been staying in disobedience after God had spoken. The real foolishness would have been letting Laban’s emotional words overrule the command of the Lord. The real foolishness would have been trusting a man whom God Himself had to warn.
Jacob left without the kiss of Laban, but he did not leave without the protection of God. And the protection of God is better than the approval of a man who only speaks tenderly after control is gone.
If you would like to explore Genesis in a sustained, verse-by-verse way with space to reflect, journal, and trace how these foundational truths unfold through Scripture the Verse by Verse book expands these reflections into a unified reading experience. The book gathers these meditations into a structured journey through Genesis, designed to help readers linger in the text and engage God’s Word more deeply over time.
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